I had a long day but at least I was warm. I was lucky enough to work inside today. The downside is,  I had no cell coverage.  The good side is, I got to work on the music in my phone! The bad side is I got missed out on getting my free metro card because I missed the office hours of the job placement place.  I would have had to go from the airport to Grand Central Station.  I would have made it but I was asked to give someone a break and she never came back. The good part is,  I got an extra hour of work! I try to roll with the punches.
What I can't get with is the old guy that lives here harassing me. He always wants to complain about me or say something to me. As I'm sitting in the kitchen with my almost empty Pizza box and talking on the phone with Nicole,  he comes in. He's using the fake nice voice so I know it's some bullshit coming.  He says he "the walls are paper thin and I can hear your conversation ". I said "and I can here yours too but you do not see me bothering you".He goes on about how I'm loud and I interrupted him. I told him " I'm sick of you bothering me about everything I do! You complain about hearing me in my room, the bathroom,  the kitchen! Yet you never say anything to the men in this house and they do the same things I do, which is live here"! He then had the nerve to tell me I don't need to have an attitude!  Then he tries to clean it up by saying "I'm just saying,  if you do Mr want your conversation heard you should whisper ".  I'm like WTF! "I do not need your permission on how to talk on the phone and I don't want you talking to  me PERIOD "! He then called me a bitch and walked back to his room. I could barely get out all the choice "fat, nasty, loud old mother fuckers out my mouth fast enough!  I sat at the kitchen table for about an hour after that while still on the phone.    My hands were shaking and I could feel my blood boiling.  Thank goodness I have friends to talk me down. I mostly couldn't move because I was trying hard not to let this anxiety attack happen.  Another friend of mine called me and the both of them kept me distraced enough that it all eventually went away. Once I could walk back to my room I called the police.  I have had enough of this guy. He has been like a predator to me. He came into my bedroom and brought out an item to give me. saying it was in the hall. He beat down the bathroom door while I was in there getting ready to leave! He beat on it so hard the entire bathroom shook! From then on I keep a knife in my pocket. #stakeknife (cut myself a lot).  I was In the kitchen eating once and he kept banging and slamming stuff around me to the point where I had to move to the window with my back against the wall and just watch him. If it goes down, I won't hesitate.
Update
The police have come and gone.  Nothing else happened. I just needed to record the incident so I can file a restraint tomorrow before I go to work.    I refuse to let some old punk be the reason I go back on mess for my nerves.

High from it! That's how I am right now! Two good things happened last night at the Apollo.  At first I tied for first place! There had to be another vote by the crowd between me and this beautifully alto chic. She got me by 5 points!  We get to come back next week!  Now what the crap am I going to wear then? I dare not ask Andre for his help again. (didn't ask the first time but really appreciated the gift).  BTW DIDN'T HE MAKE ME LOOK FABULOUS?!  Second, halfway through the night I got a call to come in to work at 07:30 for Thursday.  I didn't get home till 11pm, and I had to buy a cab ride to get in that early!  So, I'm back up at 04:40!
I'm sure there will be a disruption in today's work performance.  Ugh I hate to drink it but coffee is calling my name else it will be an epic crash and burn later. Today is Thursday!  It's Sugar Bar Day! I was so pleased to see my SB family in the crowd last night! I can't wait to thank them tonight!  (Gemini moment)  Why the hell is it snowing right now? It rained all yesterday!  Now I have to work in snow?! I work outside! This is some bullshit.
Apollo video


Apollo page

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Last update!
After I got off of work I was all set in my head to travel through the snow to go to my favorite place, Sugar Bar. Two hours into my ride home I get a call to be at work in the morning.  I had to make a real world decision and decided not to go out.  I would have gotten home around midnight and been back up at 5 am. I can't. Im exhausted.  I let some people down by not coming but I have to take care of this body! It took two cups of cappuccino to stay awake and I can't do that two days in a row. My poor heart can't take it. Smh

Good morning!  I'm up way too early. I'm thankful that I have such amazing people in my corner to take the edge of nerves off and make me laugh. I just spent the last hour on the phone with Nicole while she made her way to work.  I wish I could have afforded that pedicure because the job I did on my own hands and feet is pitiful. LOL!  I had my foot in the chair while leaning from my bed and almost toppled over trying to paint left foot. Smh I'm not flexible on my left side?  #Weird.   Good thing no one will be that close to me.  So,  I have to be there at 3am for sound check and I have to meet Andre to get the clothes from him. Guess I'll take a nap before I pack to leave.
Update
I was too wound up to nap so I cooked breakfast instead and played uno. I'm packed and as soon as I shower and touch this head, I'm out! #nervousashell

Update
I'm at Sound Check! Talking to this guy here who's name I can't spell has calmed me down. He was more on edge than me!  Now I think we are both more grounded.
Update
I Just finished sounds check. I messed up a lot. We had to restart the song 3 times because I couldn't remember my edits.  Smh I went across the street and ate some very over priced,  over salted and under tasty "Soul Food". Now I'm a bit off feeling.  Time to drink water and flush this out.
LAST UPDATE SEE THE LINK!
SECOND PLACE!

I think I'm ready!  My wonderful friend back in Atlanta bought a Groupon pass for an hour massage!  Twenty minutes into it and the guy says,  "you need more time. I need to use the entire hour on just your back". He was right. I added 30 more minutes to it. Imagine the knots I have from 7 months of stairs, bags  and shotty beds. Smh.  I've been needing a butt massage like no tomorrow!  Don't get me started on my calves and thighs. My body has been one big ouch! Thanks Nicole! I love you so much!
  I do not, however love the snow. It started again today! Little icy pellets just falling into my pockets. Somehow I managed to walk out of the house without a scarf and without gloves? Who does that? I had planned on getting a pedi but that extra time on the massage killed that. I bought some polish remover and made it home. That took forever, coming home. The train put us off early because of some trouble further up the rail line so I had to wait for another packed train. When I got off to catch the bus there were so many people waiting I decided to go find a restroom.  Shame that the only time I go into a McDonald's is to pee. I used to love their food. Now my body refuses to process even the fries. What's in there now? #Yuck By the time I came out another bus was there but yet again it was a super long line so I shopped in a near by store for polish remover.  Since I was in no hurry to go home I got a bite to eat at a Chinese place. Still not had a good place to eat yet. Another long line but it was way to cold to stay out there any longer.  Lucky me! An extra bus rolled up!  I was about 20 people back in the line! Almost slipped coming down the sidewalk by the but made it inside the house.  Apparently I can't do nails because now that I've painted them,  I realiz I should have paid for it.

Where have I been? How dare I miss two months of posting! Well, it's like this, shut up! LOL I agonized daily about not posting.  I have had some really irrational moments lately.  #crazy I have even narrated my life in my head like in the old shows on TV or "Grey 's Anatomy " of which I LOVE! So you have missed a lot but not so much that I can't catch you up really quick before I reach my stop. (I'm on the bus this morning headed to work)
   I finally had the table read with an amazing writer Corey Brooks and his play 4 H.E.R. in Brooklyn back in January.  It happened in the auditorium of his church. The cast of ladies were great!  Especially his wife Ming Dunn a.k.a Peaches! I really hope he gains funding to bring this work to life! I convinced some of the cast to come hang out with me at Sugar Bar too! We had fun.  After that,  things went slowly.  I continued to work part time at the World Trade Center.  I got snowed on A LOT! I have come to the conclusion that my journey is better than my situations so I must endure it all.
  It took forever but we finally worked our why o wasn't working at the airport!  Paperwork was missing for my security license and now I have that. (months later). Turns out I didn't fully read my letter from AMDA. I didn't get a full scholarship.  It was a partial.   What did I learn? Read what you see, not what you want. Now I need a Co signer and I'm waiting on my uncle to make up his mind. So no, I am not in school and will have to wait for summer if he agrees.
I have auditioned for a band in the Village! House band of Cafe Wha¿  The manager told me he would call me to come to rehearsals. For now club is closed for reconstruction.  That wonderful lady Kim Lovering has given me one of her gigs with a different band. I'm to work with them March 14TH in Harlem!  So geeked about that! This is the week of the Apollo again for me! In two days I hope to be all in that number one spot!
  The Sugar Bar people have been so wonderful to me. Many are saying they will attend and some are helping me prepare! The host offered to style me for that night! Another patron has hired me to sing at an even for his bar! And on top of that, I'm booked at another church event! I'd say that this year has been awesome so far.

My band audition
second audition