Morning!  Today is inspection day in the shelter. I am not happy. We had to be out of our rooms by 7am so they can clean and prepare for the "big guy". Today was gonna be a half rest day for me because I have a job interview at 1pm in Brooklyn again.
  As Im slowly getting out of bed I'm listening to all the voices and noise. The human spirit is a beautiful thing. Many of the ladies here have bonded. Turns out, the loud lady that's always crashing around is an alcoholic. There are at least 3 ladies here that check on her to make sure she's up this morning. Any other time they make sure she's up for her appointments too. It's so sweet. No one checks on me because I'm mean. lol I don't speak much. I'm not here to make friends nor do I care to. There have been several incidents where phones and purses have been stolen and I'm sure the ones that stole were "friends" of theirs.   The way I see it, this is a place of desperation and desperate people are liable to do anything. I just refuse to be surprised. I don't open the door for familiarity.
  I'm told it's a part of PTSD to always be on edge. The good thing about that is, being alert all the time has helped me keep going as far as going to auditions and looking for gigs. But today, I guess I'm regular because I want to pass out. I have a few hours till I leave and have time to rest but I'm sitting in the rec room with so many other people...

*UPDATE *
As I'm leaving the building,  I stop at the front desk to use the restroom because ours is closed off due to the inspection. A blind man was being escorted to the one with the double stalls and when the escort knocked there was one man inside already so I went on to the single one some steps up the hall and it too was occupied. While I stood patiently waiting,  the security guard at the front desk got my attention and told me to use the double restroom. I told him someone was in there but he insisted that it was empty. So I go over to the door and knock and what do I get? An answer!  I turned to the guard gave him an " I told you so" look,  held up my hand and jokingly said " don't help". I turned around and the single restroom became empty but as I headed towards it, I overheard security mouthing off about me! I heard him say "now the batch got an attitude ". I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. I dare not take a step towards him because he could say I charged him or something and because I was 38 hot, I may have. I said "wait, what? He is looking at me with hostility now. Saying he was only trying to help me and I got an attitude. I'm like "you tried to send me into a restroom full of menhow is that helping me"?!  He apologized and I turned around but he kept talking shit. He was no doubt trying to show out in front of whomever was in front of the counter. I turned back around and heatedly responded to whatever it was he said. I was so angry by then my mind was blacking out. I do remember saying "fuck you AND your apology because it didn't mean shit because you keep mouthing off". At that point, you know I was loud. As I'm simultaneously observing what's going on I noticed how the employees and other officers were making no move to stop this. Touching anyone of those that work here is considered a federal offense and will get swift jail time.
  I walked off to the restroom and cooled off. I noticed that he wasn't at the counter when I came through. I immediately told the day shift manager that I wanted to file a complaint. He asked "you want to right it up"? "Hell yeah I do! And I can't belive Yall let him get away with treating me like that while you watched. You really think imma let that go"? After I filled out the very short form in as few words as I could,  I left.
  Now I'm sitting on a bench in front of NYC Fresh Market, typing this up and enjoying the view before I go in.

*Update *
I walk in, all ready for this interview and the lady ain't even here! UUUUGHHHH!  I tried to make it work by walking to the VA and rescheduling the appointment I miss last week. I walk the 3 blocks and she wasn't in but I made an appointment anyway. I really didn't feel like walking all the way back the 8 blocks back so I stood at the bus stop and waited. And waited. And waited. Almost an hour and two bus where supposed to had passed by but hadn't. So I ended up walking anyway. I was so happy to see the G train! And...I went the wrong way again. I got good pictures though!  lol
  I finally got it right! As soon as I got off the trian I get a message from one of the hosts from Sugar Bar saying "Call me ASAP"! I'll let you know what he said after I get back later on tonight. If I get out that is. On the way to the shelter I run into my counselor. I asked if she turned in my pass for tonight. :-/ She didn't. Now, I have reminded her every day since Sunday!  WTH! Because everyone was here early for the inspection,  they are all gone early. I'm so mad that I'm about to take a nap.

ILast update
I couldn't get the pass for tonight so I left anyway!  One of the co hosts offered me a background gig and we were supposed to talk about it. I would have been upset that he didn't show up except for as soon as I got off the 1 train at 72st,  my phone rang and I got an text message. The band contacted me! I have my first paid gig in NY!  Rehearsal will be next week!  
  Sugar Bar was awesome as usual!  I confirmed my booking at the Apollo with Mrs. Kathy! I tried to get someone to video my singing "Dance with Somebody" but she sacked! Only caught 3 seconds of the end. lol Its all good. More videos later!  On the way back to the shelter I sat across from a really good looking guy. I tried to be slick with the pictures. I wish I could have gotten the front of his face. Killer eyes. Oh and did you see that Bag?! I really need money. I'm becoming more girly the older I get! I felt so good tonight that I walked all the way back in my heels! Good night world!

I must say, I look good! lol I'm wearing my confidence. I didn't even get lost finding the location!  Ironically,  this is the same place where I got lost at trying to find the audition for the play I'm in called "4 Her". Last night I made a contact via Facebook to look at an apartment. It's a 4 bed in a new building!  I hope I get it! I hope I like it! I am supposed to come view it around 4 but since I'm already in Brooklyn,  I gonna call after my job interview and try to see it then. Its in a very Jewish hood. I never saw this in GA. I love seeing people walk in traditions. It's odd though at the same time because there is NOTHING as together as this with black people that I've seen except Muslims. Organized religion scares me sometimes. I've seen how blinding it can be and how manipulative it can be, and how hurtful. I know I'm all over the place but welcome to the Gemini mind!

UPDATE
Sure I used GPS. Sure I got on the bus going in the direction it gave me. Sure it was wrong! Now I'm deep inside Brooklyn. SMH. It didn't help that I was watching a  movie and lost track of things. lol Now I'm at Flushing Ave and 61st. At least I have time before I meet her at 2pm to see the apartment. The job thing, you ask? Turns out they are the middle men for the Brooklyn Navy Yard. I hope to hear from at least one of the companies placed under thwm by next week.

Yesterday was uneventful. The manager, (Carlos) came in for maybe an hour. You know that brief panicked feeling you get when your speeding and you see a cop,  yeah,  that's what happened to be when he pulled in. I've worked really hard battling to keep the anxiety attacks at bay. I've had them since the war in Iraq 2003 and I refuse to let some jackass be the reason I go back on meds,  so I'm going back to the placement agency and telling them Im Back. They won't be pleased because that was a new account for them but who cares? I learned already to only lookout for myself.

Update
I quit!  I also got a job interview for a job making way more money!  Super for me! Outside of getting ready for this audition for AMDA to attend it's music conservatory I am doing nothing else. I picked a part from "For Colored Girls ", the abortion monolog.

Im now very low on funds. $50 to my name. Good thing that I now have food stamps. I can only buy at the deli near me and not in the city where I spend all my time. So today, I racked up on sandwiches to last the day. My daily Subways have come to an end. I found a place to eat near the parking garage. These little sit down areas are brilliant!  Who thought to put tables on the street?  Looks oddly cool. The only place to eat at the parking lot is in a dusty,  dirty little room filled with uniforms and a microwave. I think there is a chair and a stool in it. But it's barely 2ft of room in it. I'm trying to wrap my mind around starting this job. Carlos, the evil manager will be here today. I will try to stay quiet.

*Update *

Nothing really. Carlos didn't come in. Being that it is Labor Day weekend a few people called in. (imagine that) My first holiday in NY and I don't get to enjoy it. There was a lot of things going on around the city. There were a lot of Brazilians in soccer shirts . There was a street fair but it closed down three streets. I also think there was a small parade but I missed it is around the corner. There are so many cultures in the world that have so many things to celebrate so many people with history and heritage to honor. It makes me sad that all we acknowledge as black people is slavery. What happened to our wealth of history? I look around and I feel culturally dead. How long until we completely disappear?